


Blessing in Disguise?

by Sylphelle



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, Miscarriage mention, Pregnancy Angst - Freeform, pregnancy loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-06-05 04:16:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6688801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylphelle/pseuds/Sylphelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fallout kinkmeme prompt that is currently having revisions made.<br/>If someone asked Lila how she thought her life would end up, never in a million years would she imagine being where she is now.  So many things have changed for Lila, but the biggest changes has yet to come.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

If someone asked Lila how she thought her life would end up, never in a million years would she imagine being where she is now. At no point did she think she would end trapped in a cyropod, a frozen sleeping beauty for over two hundred years, until being released into a world that she didn’t recognize anymore. 

Sure, she’s made most of her difficult decisions, lost a lot of people that she’s cared about, and made a lot of sacrifices, but most of it didn’t seem to hit her until those rare moments when her thoughts are the only thing to accompany her. While Lila would normally go back to sleep, a feeling of nausea and unrest make relaxation nearly impossible. After a moment of deciding, and with a soft sigh, Lila gets out of bed, slips on a coat, and decides to walk around Sanctuary for a few minutes. 

The smell of last night’s dinner still wafts through the air, something that Strong caught and threw over a fire, mixed with something she couldn’t recognize. In all likliness, it’s probably something like a radstag, or a brahmin...at least that’s what she hopes he brought to them. She never could figure out Strong, and usually would leave him to his own devices.

Out of a habit, Lila goes around making sure each of the turrets are still working, and the newly installed fences are holding up. Thankfully, the turrets are still working, and the fences don’t seem to have any kind of damage on them, considering the amount of supplies that need to go into repairs, she is relieved to say the least.

She passes by the area she’s set up for Dogmeat, smiling when she sees him finally getting along with Hazel, the former junkyard dog that she bought from a strange man. 

After quickly glancing into Curie’s room to make sure the former mister handy wasn’t pulling another all-nighter, she goes back to her own home. She doesn’t turn on the light, mostly to make sure she doesn’t wake up Shaun, and after placing her coat on the couch she turns to go into her room. Right as her hand touches the doorknob, she hears a soft voice calling to her.

“Mom?” she turns to see Shaun nervously standing at his doorway. “I-I had another bad dream.” his gaze falls to the floor. Despite him being a synth, she can still see parts of Nate in him; mainly the cute way they both would frown when when they were upset and trying to think.

“Want to talk about it?” she asks while hugging him. He shakes his head, but then after a moment of being silent he looks up at her. “It’s alright sweetie.” she kisses the top of his head. “Would you like to set up a little sleepover in the living room?” 

It’s not long until Shaun’s making his own version of a pillow fort out of the couch and some sheets, while Lila is warming up some milk. She has a mug for the two of them, and soon after getting a couple of sleeping bags with pillows, the two are settled in. With Shaun cuddled into her, after they both finish the milk, Lila is finally able to feel more relaxed, at least for the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Lila awakens to Shaun cuddled into her. She is careful to get up without waking him, and kisses his forehead before quickly changing in her room. She isn’t sure why, but she doesn’t feel like doing much and decides against wearing anything close to armor. After changing into a more comfortable outfit, she looks down at herself, feeling a little strange.

By the time she leaves her room, Shaun is starting to wake up while Codsworth is beginning his usual routine of making sure everything is as tidy as it can be. As much as Lila tries to tell the Mr. Handy he doesn’t need to worry about cleaning, and anything that doesn’t feel as necessary, he still insists on helping out as much as he can during the mornings.

When she looks outside, she isn’t surprised to see Dogmeat and Hazel already eating, outside in their shared pen with the two brahmin and a cat. A few settlers are helping with the food, picking some corn and a few melons, while someone else is pumping some water. Sturges passes by as he’s preparing to start repairing a roof on one of the last houses that need to be fixed, and he gives her a quick nod before going back to his work. 

This isn’t the Sanctuary Hills the she remembers from Prewar times, but she wouldn’t change it for the world.

Lila decides to go to the main cooking station to get something for the two of them to eat. Lila has a feeling that the leftovers will make her nausea worse, and so she makes an omelette to split with Shaun, with some fresh slices of melon. She isn’t sure why but one of the sweetrolls is too tempting to ignore and so she piles that on top of everything. When she gets back to her home the fort is taken down and Shaun has just finished brushing his hair. She placed the plates at the table, and sits down with him.

“So, Shaun.” Lila begins as she looks down at her half of the omelette. She isn’t sure what it is, but something about the egg is starting to gross her out. “I heard that you’ve made a lot of new friends.” sometimes Piper has brought him along to diamond city, or Nick has brought him along for a few small cases. Despite how prejudiced a lot of the people on Diamond city are, especially the ones who are paranoid about synths, Lila trusts Nick and Piper enough to keep Shaun safe.

“Mmhmm.” Shaun nods. He can hardly contain his excitement as he talks about meeting Piper’s sister, and going to the school in Diamond City for a few days. He’s so enthusiastic about everything that she can’t help but smile. He quickly excuses himself when he remembers the assignments that Miss Edna gave him, and runs off to his room. 

“Are you alright, mum?” Codsworth asks as he clears the table of Shaun’s dirty dishes. By then Lila has eaten the sweetroll and is picking at the omelette. He notices how visually repulsed she is by the taste, and doesn’t ask twice when she gently pushes the plate in front of her. “Perhaps you should speak with Miss Curie?” he tries to suggest as he finishes cleaning. 

“I’ll be fine.” Lila replies while shaking her head. “Just a little sick from last night, it’ll pass.” Part of her still thinks that she probably just ate something funny and couldn’t give any other thoughts to it. “I just need a little extra rest; that’s all.” as soon as she gets up another wave of nausea hits her. It’s more than just a dizzying feeling, and Lila knows that she needs to run to a bathroom as fast as possible. She runs as fast as she can, but just barely manages to get into the bathroom before getting sick. She feels someone holding her hair back, and it takes a quick glance back to figure out that it’s Codsworth awkwardly trying to hold up a few strands of hair. 

Being sick is one of the strangest feelings for Lila, and when it’s over, she feels completely drained. Without another word, she gets up, and goes into her room. She’s asleep by the time her head hits the pillows.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time Lila wakes up, most of the day has gone by. With a small yawn, she stretches and rolls over as if hoping to be greeted by someone, as if hoping to hear him say ‘wake up, sleepyhead’. Realizing that isn’t going to happen is a dissapointing, surreal feeling that takes a minute or two to really set in; maybe it’s because she doesn’t like waking up alone, or maybe it’s because she feels a little spoiled by something she didn’t think she would have again.

Yes, she feels silly for being so accustomed to MacCready’s company, but with everything she’s lost over the last few months those gentle moments between the two of them became something that brought a sense of comforting safety. She can’t help but miss those quiet, innocent moments where they can forget about the rest of the commonwealth, a brief bit of time where nothing else matters.

With a sigh, she tries to shake her head, almost as if trying to shake those thoughts away. Wishing him there wouldn’t do her any good, and with the reason for his absence still fresh in her mind, she feels a little guilty for it. 

One week, it’s been at least a week since she surprised him with the chance to go see his son again. She remembers how tightly he hugged her upon realizing that for the first time, in a very long time he would be able to be a parent to his little boy again. Yes, she could have gone too, but a part of her didn’t want to take that special moment away from him. At least, that’s what she keeps telling herself.

After a moment of staring up at the ceiling, Lila lazily stretches and heads out to the main cooking station to find something light to settle her stomach, or anything that could be a substitute for the BRAT diet. With the choices already being pretty limited, it’s a little difficult for her to find the right options. She ends up getting some purified water, making sure to get something light to nibble on before she goes to talk to Curie to at least try to figure out what’s wrong with her.

Upon opening the door to Curie’s personalized medical workshop, Lila is greeted with Curie in the middle of one of her experiments. Something that didn’t come off as surprising, seeing as how she would become increasingly enthusiastic about the projects that she’s set for herself. With inspiration as her guide, and the information collected over the years, what Curie’s been doing couldn’t be considered less than a miracle. 

“Curie?” Lila asks as the synth looks up. “I haven’t been feeling well...actually I’ve felt like crap for a while.” she admits the last part with a nervous smile. Curie gestures for her to sit in one of those overly comfy chairs as she gets a file out. “I think it was something I ate, but there’s a part of me that’s worrying it’s something worse.” There’s a small awkward silence as Curie writes a few things down.

“Codsworth has mentioned you not feeling well.” Curie replies as she pauses from her writing. “Has the nausea and sickness been going on for a day, or is this new?”

“I didn’t think much of it, but before I started getting sick last night I was feeling a little off.” Lila furrows her eyebrows as she tries to find the right words. “For maybe a few days now, I’ve just felt a little more worn out; at first I thought it was my body’s way of dealing with the stressful situations lessening, but now I’m not so sure.”

“In instances of high stress, the human body goes into a fight or flight mode by releasing specific hormones. Negative consequences are typically not unusual.” Curie explains as she gets one of her books out. “Is there anything else? Any type of fatigue, aches or pains? Anything that you may think is small or unrelated might be pertinent.” 

“I have been extra tired lately.” Lila answers after taking sometime to think. “I thought it was because there’s someone I’m really missing but now that I really think about it, it started a few days before he left.” It’s in that moment of thinking when a sudden realization hits her like a punch to the gut. Her eyes widen, and she opens her mouth to say something, but nothing can escape; It’s as if someone is squeezing her throat.

“I have a few theories, but the best way we can figure it out is with some tests.” Curie holds out her hand. “That is, if you’ll trust me?”


	4. Chapter 4

Pregnant. As that one, two syllable word hits her, the impact is as powerful as many of the other shocking things she had to go through. As she tries to process the news, Lila can feel a lump form in the back of her throat, and as much as she tries to calm herself, that lump is soon accompanied by a tightening feeling in her chest. Yes, this is something that's supposed to be happy, but the only positive emotions (ironically) are from Curie's bubbly congratulations. 

Her gaze falls to the floor as she feels tears start to sting her eyes. Yes, this is supposed to be great news, but the panic outweighs any form of warmth. To put it simply, this wasn’t supposed to happen, not at all.

"Madame? This is good news, is it not?" The excited tone soon turns to confusion. Curie starts to become more concerned when Lila bursts into tears. “Aren’t you happy?” she tilts her head to the side. With human emotions still being fairly new to the former nanny bot, she becomes more and more confused with Lila’s negative responses. That bewilderment only grows when Lila stands up.

“Thank you Curie.” Lila curtly nods as she moves closer to the door. As soon as she’s halfway out of the workshop, she turns to Curie. “Please, don’t let anyone else know about this...I need to figure out a few things.”

\----

By the time Lila is back in her room, her eyes still sting from the tears. She feels bad for leaving so abruptly on Curie, with just a quick thanks and request for her to keep it quiet. Her actions feel a little too rash and apprehensive for her liking, but in that moment of dismay, only one thought could hold the most influence over her.

She closes the door, and while leaning against it, slides down until she’s sitting on the floor, practically wallowing in her own self-inflicted misery. She doesn’t know if she should feel lucky that nobody in her home could see her emotional distress, or cursed because a different part of her craves someone to could comfort her with false promises of everything being alright. 

After being in a helpless state where she couldn’t do anything but watch as everything she held dear was taken, she learned to hate being in any state of vulnerability. A state of vulverability that is no different from how she’s feeling at the moment. With the feeling of alarm comes a desperate feeling of imploring. Lila would like nothing more than the ability to hide under her sheets, close her eyes, and find out this is all one large, strange dream, but she has no such luck. 

This can’t be happening, not again.

Pregnant. Even as a thought the word still feels strange and foreign to her. The term shouldn’t sound so odd to her, but given her circumstances, it doesn’t hold any warm or familiar meaning. Maybe, just maybe if she thinks about the term it will go back to being just that; a word with implications heavier than something she could hope to carry. It’s an impossible thought, but in her desperation, she’s too stubborn to realize that.

Her hand travels down the middle of her chest until finally resting onto her stomach. It’s far too early to be able to feel anything, at least according to Curie, but it’s in that moment that it starts to feel all the more real. She rubs a hand over her stomach, feeling a few more tears start to sting her green eyes. If only pregnant could have remained just a word.

That’s when another realization hits her; the conversation involving children, and the conclusion that having another child wouldn’t be the best idea. Yes, MacCready loves being a part of her and Shaun’s life, and yes, he is a dedicated father to his own son, but one of the things she knows if that he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself for would be not being able to provide a healthy childhood to another son or daughter. The sentiment isn’t anything personal, growing out of his frustration from not being able to protect Duncan that kept them separated; It wasn’t like she didn’t share a similar sentiment stemming from Shaun, and not being able to protect him.  
They both did reach the same conclusion that having another child wouldn’t be the best situation for them, and now here she lies, pregnant.


	5. Chapter 5

The next two weeks feel like a long, strange blur, as Lila tries to come to terms with what's going to happen. She knows that how she's feeling isn't normal, and that she would be excited to have a child with the one she loves, especially after everything she's been through, but the longer she's left alone with her own thoughts, the more anxious and scared she becomes.   
  
Lila isn't a stranger to pregnancy, having been pregnant twice before, but with the medical support being limited compared to pre-war times, the experience is a lot more miserable. Her nausea is a lot worse, and gets to the point where even looking at certain foods makes her feel sick. When Lila isn't sick, or checking in with Curie, she's resting. Maybe it was the stress, or maybe it was the pregnancy itself, but Lila finds herself with little to no energy, and she often lies awake in her and MacCready's bed, using one of his shirts to wrap around her as a way of comfort. Thankfully, the people at Sanctuary are very understanding, and even though they aren't fully aware of Lila's condition, a few of the residents, mostly her friends, are able to help out by taking over some of Lila's tasks.

When someone tells Lila about an approaching caravan, Lila doesn’t give a second thought, only thinking it to be the merchant, Trashcan Carla most likely. Most of the time, that's who it is, so it didn't seem wrong to assume that the visitor would offer to sell various supplies and materials that would make life in Sanctuary easier. Lila gets up and slips on some light, loose fitting clothing, and heads out of the house.  
  
It’s not until the approaching group gets to the bridge that she fully realizes who it really is. Her heart starts racing, and she bites into her lower lip as she is hit with a maelstrom of different emotions. Before she can think about what she’s doing, she runs to MacCready in a way that makes her feel like she’s the lead in a cheesy romance novel. His hands move down to her waist as he pulls her into him and he kisses the top of her head. As she looks up at him, he gives her the same toothy grin she fell in love with, and for a moment it's just the two of them, caught up in each others' company. The weeks he’s been away feels more like years to her, a feeling that reflects on how tightly they hold each other.

“Did the cure work?” Lila asks as she takes a step back. “Did it make it on time?” part of her is worried that they didn’t get the cure fast enough.

“It worked perfectly, better than we could have imagined.” there's a comforting warmth to MacCready's answer that helps ease some of Lila's worries. “The day I got back, Duncan was running around, and back to his happy, playful self. It was terrifying, waiting to see if the cure worked or not, but seeing him healthy again was nothing short of a miracle.A miracle, that you helped make possible.” A few tears sting Lila's green eyes as she feels herself tearing up. “That is why, want you to meet him.”

Before Lila can reply, MacCready is going back to the caravan, and to the cart attached to one of the brahmin. He returns with a child that can’t be any older than four or five years old. His hair is a little darker than MacCready's, and his skin is a little tanner, but he has a few of his father's facial features. The sleepy child rubs his eyes before noticing Lila, and shyly hides his face in MacCready's jacket.

Lila giggles at this reaction. She understands why the child would be so nervous, but the way little Duncan reacts is too adorable. As cute as his reaction is, Lila makes sure to carefully approach him, mostly to make sure the little boy is comfortable and feels safe in his new environment.

"It's alright." MacCready tries to reassure Duncan. "She’s the nice lady I told you about.” Lila can feel her face heat up a little when she realizes MacCready talked to his son about her. It takes a moment for the little boy to gain the courage, but soon his face isn't hidden, and he's facing Lila.

"Hello." she cautiously steps closer to them. "My name is Lila, and it's nice to meet you." the boy seems to be a little embarassed. It takes a moment, but soon Duncan is comfortable enough to hold his arms out to Lila. When Duncan is handed over to Lila, she can feel a few tears of joy sting her eyes. The moment is nothing short of bittersweet; while she’s grateful to be able to be a part of MacCready’s life, another part of her feels guilty that she’s enjoying a moment that his mother, Lucy would never be able to enjoy again. Lila isn’t sure what MacCready told the boy for him to be comfortable with Lila, but she’s not complaining, and wonders if moments like this are what she lost with Shaun.

Maybe, just maybe this could be her second chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering what Duncan looks like, http://illustratedacorns.tumblr.com/post/140347611471 he looks a bit like that. (He might be a little shorter though, due to being pretty young.)


	6. Chapter 6

The moment is interrupted when Shaun excitedly runs out, in his arms a project he's been working on. At first Shaun is a bit confused, but when he realizes who’s back, he nearly drops everything and runs to them. “You’re back! You’re really back.” he’s grinning from ear to ear. 

“Do you think I’d miss out the completed wazer wiffle?” there’s a playful tone in MacCready’s reply as he ruffles Shaun’s hair. “I got first dibs on the test firing, remember?” Shaun’s eyes light up in excitement as he remembers the promises MacCready made, and all the time they would be able to spend together.

It takes a moment for the synth child to notice Duncan, but when he does, he‘s a little confused. “Who’s this?” Shaun stares at the child, silently watching him as if trying to figure out what’s going on.

“I’ve got this.” MacCready reassures Lila, before squatting down to Shaun’s level. “Shaun, this is my son, Duncan.” He introduces his son to Shaun. “Duncan is very important to me, and because I love you and your mother very much, I decided to bring him back here. I know it’s going to be a little difficult, but think of him as your little brother.” The confused expression is quickly replaced by that of excitement. 

“I get to be a big brother?” Shaun asks with a look of pure joy. It’s one of the first times Lila has seen Shaun excited outside of the times she brings him back scrap or new material to read. He finally has a friend. "Can I play with him?" MacCready nods and Lila gently places Duncan down so he can say hello to Shaun. 

As expected, the little boy is skittish at first, using Lila's dress to hide himself, but he soon warms up to his new brother and the two of them end up in Shaun's room, playing with a small box of toys. The box is mostly filled with various chipped blocks, but a few small toys are in there, along with a small teddy bear. Next to the toy box is a Giddyup Buttercup that Shaun spent a few weeks fixing. When the two boys get settled in, Shaun lets Duncan play with the wooden blocks in the toy box, and soon the two of them are making what looks like a wooden block tower. 

Lila watches the children play for a few minutes before turning to face MacCready. He's grinning from ear to ear as he watches little boy play almost as if they aren't in a post apocolyptic world. She can't imagine how much he's gone through, and how much he's sacrificed just to give Duncan a somewhat calm childhood, but seeing him at ease, knowing that his son has a better chance is something that makes her smile. 

After watching the two for a few minutes, Lila goes to the kitchen to get something to snack on. After settling on the box of blamco brand mac and cheese she didn’t finish, she takes a bottle of nuka cola and plops down on the couch in the living room so she can nibble on the leftovers. 

MacCready soons sits down on the other side of the couch, next to her. “I know this is a lot to take in, but I really appreciate how you've made Duncan feel safe and loved.” Lila nods as she eats another handful of the mac and cheese. 

“It was the least I could do.” Lila replies as she finishes her food. “I know how important this is to you, and I’m grateful that you trust me enough to get this close.” she can feel some tears start to collect. “After what happened at the institute, I was terrified that no matter how hard I fought, it would never end well, and I would lose everyone I love, again. Being here with you...it means more than the world to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little shorter than the last chapter, but while rewriting this (from the original version I posted on the fkm livejournal) some parts have been moved around, and this section was originally a little shorter, and the ending of the last chapter. A big thank you to SunnyGrl for the kind words of encouragement, and to everyone who has left kudos.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter he finds out, and why Lila has been so anxious will be revealed, I promise. Small warning, some sensitive topics will be mentioned. The next chapter might be a combination of the original last two chapters, with an epilogue.

It’s not long until night arrives, and soon Lila finds herself far too nervous to go into their room. She fidgets with her makeshift pajamas, a nightgown made from recycled cloth, and a pair of MacCready’s more causal pants that she borrowed and “forgot” to return. She knows that she needs to tell him soon, but the possibility of him not taking it well scares her too much. After taking a few deep breaths, Lila steadies herself, and walks out to their room. As she slips in, she notices that the lights are already out, and he's already in their bed. She carefully shifts into bed, and as soon as she’s under the covers, she can feel arms wrap around her from behind. 

“You alright?” Even though he’s clearly tired and close to falling asleep, he can tell that something’s off. He becomes a little more suspicious when she visibly freezes up. 

“Y-yeah.” Her voice comes out as a soft squeak as she quickly tries to reassure him that everything’s alright. “I-I...I just have a lot on my mind. Don’t worry too much about it.” she adds in the last part rather quickly. 

“Come on, Ly. It’s my job to worry about you.” he rests his head against the crook of her neck as he pulls her in closer to him. 

“Later, alright?” Lila nearly lets out a sigh of relief when he lets out a small hum, indicating that yes, he can wait. It takes a little while, but soon the two of them are sleeping comfortably.

By the time it’s morning, Lila is far too warm and comfortable to even want to get out of bed. Even though the blankets aren’t as large or comfortable as the ones from prewar times, they’re still far too comfortable for her to want to remove. She can feel MacCready slowly wake up next to her, but neither of them seem to want to get out of bed. 

“Morning.” she can feel his breath on her neck. “Why don’t we just cancel today...” a yawn follows what normally would (and probably should) be one of his more coherent and sardonic comments. 

For a moment, it's just the two of them, and nothing else seems to matter in this calm, quiet moment. Lila wishes that she could just stay in with him, and if she didn't have to go check in with Curie, she probably would have, but as luck would have it that couldn't happen. Lila tries to wriggle out of MacCready's arms, but that only causes him to pull her in closer.

“You’re gonna have to let me go sooner or later.” she giggles at his response in the form of a muffled ‘never’. “Please?” she can feel his arms loosen up a little, and she wriggles out of bed. She quickly gets ready in the bathroom.

As she looks down at her stomach, that sense of guilt hits her again. She feels terrible for making him worry about her, but as much as she wants to say something, her anxiety holds her back. 'I'll tell him soon...' the thought keeps repeating in her head as she slips on some loose clothing. 

After she is ready, she goes out into the hallway and notices Shaun is already awake, with Duncan following behind him. She isn't sure why, but the way the Duncan follows behind Shaun makes her think of a little duckling; it doesn't bother Shaun, in fact he's still excited to have a little brother to look after, and play with. To say she's delighted to see the two boys have already bonded, and are getting along really well would be an understatement.

After a quick good morning to the two boys, Lila heads out to the Curie's custom built office. Not too long ago, they got news of vault 81 discovering some equipment in the secret vault. It wasn't surprising to hear that the scientists who would have been working in there requested the best macinery possible; it wasn't surprising until they found out some of the equipment would better suite an obstetrician. Thankfully, the device now sits in Curie's office after Overseer McNamara let them take it.

Curie is finishing a few notes as Lila walks in. She has quite a few holodisks next to her terminal, full of all the important research and information she's kept over the last two decades. The synth doctor seems excited to see Lila, and even more excited to use the equipment to see just how far along Lila is. 

"Are you excited?” Curie asks as she finishes a few notes. “I’ve been waiting to test this out for such a long time.” there's a bubbly tone to her voice as she gets the equipment working. She has Lila lay down, and soon her shirt is partially lifted up while Curie rubs something on her lower abdomen. It may not be the gel she's supposed to use, but it's the best substitute they could get on such short notice. Soon a strange scanner is placed over Lila's lower abdomen as Curie starts moving it around.

Even though vault tec indirectly helped preserve older technology, Lila didn't expect the machine to work, or at the very least work too accurately; this was more of something that Curie wanted to try out before tinkering with the machinery. It takes a few minutes for something to show up on the screen, but soon Curie lets out a loud gasp, as the static image appears.

“Ah, there they are!” Curie exclaims as she looks at the screen. “Wonderful, is it not? See right there?” Curie enthusiastically points to a spot on the screen. “That’s where the heart is...but...that would put you at least nine weeks." she frowns before going back to her notes at the terminal. The sound of clicking keys can be heard before Curie returns with a clipboard to write notes down with.

After a few minutes, Curie is finally able to confidently say Lila is in her tenth week, and soon will be entering her second trimester. She gives Lila usual advice to get plenty of rest and to keep eating healthy and staying hydrated before going back to her work. 

As Lila returns to her home, that nervous feeling returns. With more concrete proof of the developing child's existence, the situation couldn't be any more real than it is now, and for reasons she knows are irrational, that terrifies her. Before she opens the door, she stops herself and takes a deep breath. 'You can do this.' she tries to keep her thoughts positive and encouraging, but as soon as she walks in, she finds it more and more difficult.


	8. Chapter 8

Over the next few days, MacCready would notice more of Lila’s strange change in behavior. At first, he didn’t think much of it, but as time went on her strange behavior became more suspicious and even more difficult to brush off. MacCready didn’t initially plan on going to her, and he did fully plan on waiting for Lila to talk to him on her own accord, but due to her unusual demeanor he had to take a risk by going to her.

After Duncan is tucked in for her nap, MacCready goes across the hall to his and Lila’s room. The sole survivor is sitting in a chair, while concentrating on the pip boy in front of her. At first MacCready watches her, but after a moment, he clears his throat.

"We need to talk." MacCready announces as Lila places her pip boy down. He gestures for her to move closer to him, and so she sits on the bed next to him. He notices how pale she looks, and the small bags forming under her eyes aren't making it look any better. "Something's wrong." he didn't mean for it to sound like a statement, but this wasn't exactly adroit in situations like this. "Ly, I know something wrong and I'm worried about you." he notices the small things she does when she’s nervous, like fidget with a loose strand of hair, twirling it between her fingers. "Are you alright?"

As he asks this, Lila averts her gaze by staring down at the floor. Her anxiety starts to get a hold of her, and she can feel what little composure she has left start to crumble.

“Did I do anything wrong?” She can see hear a hint of sadness in his tone as he asks this, and that alone breaks her heart. She hates herself for keeping this from him, even more so now that he thinks that he’s doing something to upset her.

"N-no!" Lila doesn't mean for her reply to be as loud as it is, and after a horrified moment, her voice falls down to an almost whisper. "Please don't blame yourself for this." she can feel the tears start to sting her eyes.

"Then what is it? Ly, come on look at me." he cups her chin with his hand in an effort to get her to stop avoiding his gaze. "I don't know what's going on, but I want to help you through this." Before she knows what she’s doing, the tears start to stream down her face, and she lets out a choked sob. He nearly curses, before stopping himself, and wrapping his arms around her.

“It’s not your fault, none of it is...” she closes her eyes for a moment as she takes a few, very shaky deep breaths. “You’ve too good for someone like me. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve someone as amazing as you...”

“There was some kid from the Brotherhood of steel that tried to gain access into Little Lamplight who could beg to differ with that.” MacCready tries to lighten the mood with a small joke, and he feels a little relief when Lila weakly smiles. "Ly, you trust me, right?" she meekly nods.

"I-I'm sorry." she sniffles. She wipes one of her tears as she moves back to her side. As she stares down at the floor, she gently kicks her legs in front of her, back and forth. "I should have told you as soon as I got the news...but I was...no I still am terrified of what's going on." she can feel her heart furiously thumping in her chest in protest. "A few months ago I started to get sick. I didn't think much of it, but the longer it went on, the worse it became.” she stops herself to keep the tiny amount of composure she has left. “I-I...I’m pregnant.”

There’s a very long, awkward silence between the two of them as MacCready tries to process everything. Lila's pregnant, with his child. As the silence drags on, Lila starts to panic, and is ready to get up, to leave the room as soon as possible.

"Lila, wait." he stops her right as her feet touch the floor. he reaches out, and grabs her hand. "Remember what I told you the day we finally got together? I said I would follow you to the ends of the earth if I had to."

"I-I'm sorry for not telling you." Lila can feel a weight being lifted off of her as she lets go of all her guilt. "I-it's just...I've gone through this twice before, but it was never this stressful." Her hand trails down to her lower abdomen, right where the baby is developing. "I-I...I was terrified of telling you, because I was scared something terrible would happen." Her thoughts go back to what happened all those years ago, back during pre-war times and she can feel a dull ache in her chest as she remembers it.

"It's alright. You don't have to tell me if it's hurting you that much." MacCready tries to comfort Lila by gently squeezing her hand.

"No..." Lila shakes her head. "I can't keep running away from what happened." she looks up at him for a moment. "Back before the war, before the world fell into what you grew up in, I had a somewhat normal life with my late husband. During the first few years, he wasn't around as much and I didn't mind because he was following in his father's footsteps and fighting for what he believed in. Sometimes he would return for a couple weeks, but it was usually just me in the small home we shared at the time." She pauses as she remembers their first home before sanctuary. It wasn't the best place to live, but they could afford it. "It wasn't long until I discovered I was pregnant with what should have been our first child." She weakly smiles. "I remember holding up the little test, and practically jumping with joy."

MacCready silently listens to her, as a feeling of dread starts to build. He can't imagine the pain she's gone through, and can only compare it to Lucy's sacrifice to save both him and Duncan.

"I thought the pregnancy went well at first, but soon something happened and I..." Lila sounds a little choked up as she stops. "I-I...I lost the baby." she clenches her eyes shut as tears start to well up. "I failed them, and I'm scared of failing again."

A small gasp escapes from her as MacCready pulls her in, allowing her to let out all of her confined emotions. As he holds her, she lets out a few shaky, but soft sobs, before the intensity of her pent up emotions starts to wear down on her.

"Ly, it wasn't your fault." he brushes a few loose strands of red hair behind her ear. "That kind of sh-stuff happens." he helps her lie down to relax. "After everything you've done for me, and for Duncan...let me take care of you."

The door creaks open and Shaun peeks in, with little Duncan standing behind him. It's quiet at first, with Shaun watching the two in confusion, and Duncan barely awake, but the older of the two boys speaks up.

"Is everything alright?" he looks over to his mother and notices her face is a little red and splotchy. "Mom?"

Lila sits up, and tries to reassure Shaun with a faint smile. "Yes sweetie, everything is fine." she pats the spot next to him, and he sits next to her. "Come on little guy." she calls out to Duncan, who is picked up so he can sit next to Shaun.

"What's going on?" Shaun asks as he looks from Lila to MacCready, and then back to his mother again. "If this is about Mr. Hancock's window, I didn't mean to break it, but I accidentally hit a rock and it went through the window."

"No Shaun." Lila softly laughs. "Neither of you are in trouble, but we do have some news."

"What is it? Did you find those blueprints?" Shaun's expression changes to that of excitement.

"No, it's not that." Lila shakes her head. "It's not going to happen for a while, but the two of you are going to have a little brother, or sister." The two boys are silent for a moment before a wide grin spreads on Shaun's face.

"I promise to be the best big brother ever!" Shaun decisively exclaims before he gets up to make sure he has enough toys in his room for when the new sibling arrives.

MacCready smiles at Shaun's reaction before turning his attention to Duncan. "I know this is a lot, but a new baby doesn't mean I won't love you anymore. You're still my little guy, and I love you." Duncan makes a little face when MacCready playfully ruffles his hair. When the youngest of the two boys is off the bed, he goes off to follow Shaun.

"That went better than I expected." Lila states as she tries to relax. She feels like she's running low on energy. "I hope that they still feel that way six months from now." she closes her eyes for a moment.

"We'll deal with that when we get to that point." MacCready replies as he sits next to her and rubs small circles over the very faint, but developing baby bump. "Rest. You'll need your strength."

 

* * *

 

True to his word, MacCready is there for Lila every step of the way. He does everything he possibly can to make sure she's comfortable, and safe. Sometimes his doting becomes a little too much for Lila, but she knows that deep down he means well.

Along with the protectiveness, comes a sense of excitement that Lila hasn't seen before. He goes with her to the appointments and the look of awe, when Curie uses the decive to show the development, is priceless.

He's there for her every step of the way, until that fateful day when Lila goes into labor. It's early in the morning when the pains start, and by the time MacCready is coherent enough to be awake, he water breaks. With some help, he brings Lila to Curie, and after an agonizing few hours, their daughter is brought into the world.

When MacCready is handed their daughter, he looks down at the little girl. Her skin is a little bit lighter than his, and she has her mother's green eyes, but he can see a little tuff of hair that resembles his own. The newborn looks up at him for a moment, before letting out a soft whine.

"Shhh. It's alright." he gently cradles the baby. One of her chubby little hands reaches up and tries to grab at his hat. He lets out a chuckle when she only moves it a little bit. "Everything's going to be alright. I promise to protect you, Wren..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took a while to write, but the last few days have been pretty busy.  
> Anyway, thank you to everyone who's stuck with me through this, and patiently waited for the rewrite of the prompt originally posted on fallout kink meme's livejournal.  
> A big thank you to the very kind SunnyGrl, whose kind words acted as a motivation to pick up the writing, everyone who left kudos, and everyone who bookmarked this.  
> I don't know if there will ever be a continuation to this, but for now, these two will have a relatively happy ending.


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